Armageddon: The Hell on Earth
by C. Song
Summary: Hell portals open across the world because a bunch of people decided to test to see if hell was real and oh look at that- It is. The world is now an apocalypse of huge proportion. Humans are alive but have been severely reduced. Those that live have banded into factions or have struck out alone in hopes of finding something better. Idea given by the game Judgment.
1. Episode One

A German woman with bright blonde hair, done up in a bun so that the length couldn't be seen, with pale skin and bright blue eyes, trekked through a bit of wasteland until she found the remains of a farm. The barn was still in tact, and so was the house.

"Eh..." She looked over the buildings before heading for the barn. "I guess zis is better zan nozing... Better be some seeds at ze fery leasht in here..." She mumbled to herself, armed with an ammo belt across her form, a pistol holster on her hip, and a sheathed knife on the other. The pistol itself was in her hand, ready to be used as she inched up to the barn.

Inside the barn, an Irishman with one brown eye and dark, scruffy red hair that brushed his shoulders and covered his jaw, having heard her talking, hid behind a crate in the loft, pistol in hand. If he could make it back to the house without being seen, he would, but he wasn't counting on it.

She pressed her back against the barn exterior, right next to the cracked door, and tilted her head left to glance through said crack, not about to just burst into a large building like this one. Upon seeing nothing, she inched inside, mostly sticking to the walls since then she only has to cover one side of herself, and made her way quickly up a ladder into the loft of the barn to get a better view for scouting.

He held his breath as she passed him and slowly made his way to the ladder. He made sure her back was to him and began to climb down from the loft as quickly and quietly as he could.

She happened to turn to head back down for a box she saw and saw him, immediately raising the pistol just out of habit. "Voo zee hell are jou and how zee hell did jou get up here!?" Of course, the question is mainly because she didn't see him up here.

"Shoite." he mumbled, before swinging around to the other side of the ladder, under the loft. He went down about two more rungs before jumping to the ground. He wouldn't have time to reach the door before she got down, so he stepped back into the shadows , held up his pistol, and waited.

She quickly moved towards where she saw him back into the dark, aiming in his general direction since she can see but can't see well from her current angle. "Jou are not very good at zee hiding, ja? Shtep out a moment and I'll considering not shooting jou." Well, clearly he is good at the hiding since she didn't see him before, but she meant more right this second since she can still kinda see him.

"Oi wus doin' jist gran' 'til yer turned raun, an' if yer wouldn't mind doin' so again, Oi'll gladly be on me way. Promise not ter shoot yer in de back."

"I fery seriously doubt zat jou vould not schoot me in zee bak ivv gifen zee chance. No ovvense or anyzing like zat. It's jusht business. Besides, vhy vould I trusht somevon zat I kannot see?"

He continues to back up, hoping to make it to the door before she gets down the latter.

She decided, quite literally, 'eh, fuck it,' and took a running start before jumping off the loft, barrel rolling herself behind a crate-well. More like crashing into the crate due to momentum, but hey, cover is cover. She is back on her feet and they get to actually see each other's faces as she kinda peeks out from her cover to see whereabouts he is in the barn.

At seeing her jump, he ducked behind a crate of his own. He peeked around about the same time she did, and almost immediately ducked back down. "Waaat nigh, lassy? Oi really don't want ter shoot yer."

"Jou'd haf to aim properly to schoot me, vouldn't jou? Zat is a bit hard to do ven zere are krates in zee vay." She, of course, had ducked back down behind her crate about the same time he had.

"Aye, so'tiz, but Oi'm not aboyt ter wish they were gone. Oi'm not keen on gettin' shot meself."

"Zen vee haf a bit ovv an agreement." On wanting the krates to stay exactly where they were. "Vat vere jou doing in a barn? Certainly doing somezing like zis alone is dangerous." Obviously. I mean, look at what they're doing.

"Everytin' is dangerous nigh, lass. Wheder yer are alone or not. Oi'd say bein' alone makes it less so. Yer don't 'av ter worry aboyt anyone else."

"I beg to divver. It is much easier viz somevon. Zen jou haf somevon to vatch jour bak." She paused then. "Not zat I don't enjoy talking viz somevon vile vee boz kontemplate how to get out ovv zis barn alif und all, aber haf jou been into zee house yet? I vas hoping to vind some scraps ovv kloz or somezing ovv zat nature." She figured since she's gonna be stuck here a minute trying to look for a safe way out, she might as well be halfway civil.

"Aye, might be able ter make duds oyt av de curtains, but dar's not much lef dare wort 'avin'. That's why Oi came in 'ere."

"I see, I see." She glanced at the door and started sneaking along behind crates towards it. "Vell, ivv jou haf nozing else to say, I belief I vill be on mein vay."

He peeked around the crate and, seeing her moving away, waved and ducked back behind the crate, peeking out every so often to see if she was gone yet. Once she was, he ran out the same door.

She made her way to the house, assuming that he was alone simply because she didn't see anyone in the house when she came up, and as such just kinda walked in, gun still out just in case, but not as guarded as she was in the barn.

He ran to the house as fast as he could. Upon seeing the German woman inside, he fired a warning shot just to the right of her. "Yer take wan more step into dis house an' Bejasus Oi'll put a bullet in yisser skull."

She, on instinct, whirled back and shot at him, missing by just an inch to the left. "I vould be fery carevul ivv I vere jou. Jou don't just schoot at a voman bevore asking her to dinner." She's being sassy but she's not above nailing him in the shoulder so he can't shoot her again. "I do belief jou said zat jou vere done viz zis building, so unless jou vant to get schot, I suggesht jou leaf."

"Oi'm not 'eadin' anywhere jist yet, lassy."

A woman with extremely curly, ginger hair and bright green eyes slid up to the top of the stairs, "Teige? Are ye alright?"

"Oi'm fine, wait dare!" Once again, addressing the German woman, "Oi didn't quite lie, we are done 'ere, an' if yer don't mind lettin' us walk away, naw wan 'as ter git 'urt."

She quirked an eyebrow. "I see jou don't mind trafeling viz somevon, zen." She didn't answer for a moment, mentally running through options, before settling on a reply. "I don't see zee point in schooting jou." She didn't lower her weapon, but she didn't shoot like she kould have. "Jou vere kind enough to not schoot me ven I retreated zrough zee door, and I vill allow jou zee same kindness."

"Tanks." He nodded toward the door and his companion ran out. He backed out and followed her.

The German woman watched them run and lowered her gun once Teige was out of range to shoot her. She raided the house for every scrap of fabric she could find and stuffed it all into a half-assed pack before returning home.

Once they had stopped running and the house was almost out of view, the woman finally broke the silence, "Who was that?"

Teige shrugged, "Sum German."

"There are Germans here?"

"Well, dar's at laest wan."

She looked back at the house then back to her partner. "It might be nice to have someone else with a gun around."

"Oi don't trust anyone else wi' a gun except yer, an' yer don't want wan for sum call."

"I'm just sayin."

"So am Oi."

After a couple of days, mostly consisting of walking through woods, they happened upon a small hut in a clearing. Since it appeared unguarded, they approached, thinking it could be a decent place to stay for a while, or at least have some decent stuff inside. Teige had his pistol in hand and she was behind him, just in case.

The hut door was flung open by a rather ecstatic five year old girl with dirty brown hair and matching eyes. "Mutti!~" The girl all but froze in her spot and just stared at them.

The ten year old, a boy with scrappy black hair, peeked out and stealth-grabbed the girl, yanking her back into the hut, slamming the door on the way. Since he's the older one, he peeked out the window instead of just running out.

Teige holstered his weapon and the ginger woman moved around him and joged up to the door. "Hey, we're not gonna hurt ye. We were just lookin for somewhere to stay for a little while. We can keep ye company until yer, um, "mutti" gets back, if ye'd like," she said, a warm smile on her face.

The boy didn't answer at all, just kind of peeked carefully out the window with a glare on his face cause new people he doesn't know.

The girl, on the other hand, managed to wiggle free and pop back outside like a daisy through snow.

"Hi!~ My name is Rin!~ Do you- gah!~" Her would-be question was cut off by once more being yanked into the house by the boy, who promptly slammed the door again.

"Go away! We don't need company!" For a ten year old, his voice was a tiny bit gruff, but it overall sounded adorable as shit because he's trying to be tough but he's ten.

Unfortunately, all the door slamming woke up the little infant in the room, who started screaming at the top of her lungs, and the boy vanished from the window in an attempt to calm her down.

Teige looked over at his companion , "She reminds me av yer," he said, referring to Rin. She glared at him and punched his arm, which probably hurt her more than him.

"We can't just leave em here unguarded."

He sighed, "Naw, Oi suppose we can't." He turned and leaned against the hut, hand on his gun, scanning the horizon. The woman tried to see through the window, half hoping to see Rin again, even if she could only talk to her through the glass.

Rin peeked up through the window and saw the face of the woman and squeaked at first, but managed to sneak out the door while shutting it quietly behind her.

"Hi! Sorry about Jake, he's kinda rude!" She held out her little hand. "I'm Rin!" Cute little thing just screamed cuteness.

She reached out and shook Rin's hand. "Nice to meet ye, Rin. I'm Shannan, and this is Teige." Teige gave them a sideways glance, waved, and went back to watching the surrounding area. Shannan glared at him slightly and added, "He can be kinda rude too." Teige just rolled his eyes.

Right about then a loud crash was heard and the door was flung open.

"RIN WHERE ARE-" The yell immediately ceased when he saw her but he looked so damn done with life. "Rin! You can't just go around talking to strangers!" He pulled her back into the hut. "We don't know them!"

"We didn't know Mutti either!" The littler one pouted.

"There was one of her! There are two of them! Two adults against three kids is not good odds!"

The door closed roughly again.

"The door doesn't even lock! What's the point?!" Jake grumbled weakly, mildly defeated by the much-more-social sister of his.

Rin peeked out the window. "You guys can come in!"

Jake pulled her down. "No you can't! Stay out there! I have a …. A… I have a ladle and I'm not afraid to use it!" The pauses were him frantically looking for something, and now he's wielding a ladle like it's a sword.

"'Ey, lad, Jake wus it? Is dat Rin girl your sister?"

"What's it to you?!" Jake had a mildly defensive tone, though he seemed a good bit more calm than before. He is, however, still wielding the ladle.

"Sisters are annoyin' ain't dey?" Shannan glared at him.

"...Is the lady out there your sister or somethin'?" The ladle is slowly being lowered.

"Aye, she is, an' she gets on me every last nerve, she does." Shannan was now glaring daggers at him. "So, 'oy aboyt Oi make yer a dayle; yer let Shannan dare cum in, an' if yer decide yer trust 'er, yer an' dat ladle av yers can cum oyt 'ere an' us men 'ill guard de 'ut an' not 'av ter dayle wi' any sisters for a while." He leaned over a bit and looked in the window. "'Oy does dat soun'?

Jake was quiet for a few minutes, tapping the ladle lightly against his chin. "...Okay, but if she's gonna come in here, she's gotta make sure not to wake up Lily."

Rin clapped her hands together rather happily. "Yes!~"

Jake opened up the door and stepped out, ladle in hand and Rin bolted past him to hug at Shannan's legs, just super excited at new people since it's gotta be a bit lonely there in the forest. Granted, they know why, and they like the food and stuff she brings back for them, but still. Lonely all the same.

Shannan hugged Rin back. "Let's go inside," she glared back up a Teige, "since the boys are so eager to get away from us.

Teige shrugged, "Yer wanted in de 'ut an' Oi got yer into de 'ut. Waaat more do yer want from me?" Shannan shook her head and walked inside. Teige rolled his eyes, "Women."

"Sisters." Jake corrected. "Mutti isn't near as bad as Rin is."

Rin, of course, followed Shannan in near instantly since new friend.

Teige looked down at Jake for a moment before asking him, "Waaat do yer do wi' dat ladle?

Jake looked down at it for a moment. "...It's all Mutti left in the house, so… I use it kinda like a really crappy sword. I had a pocket knife, but Rin cut herself on it, so Mutti asked that I fork it over for when she's not home."

Not the answer he expected, but, "Yer really couldn't fend anytin' better ter use? A plank av wud, a wooden spoon, a shoe even?"

Jake rubbed the back of his hand. "Ah… No… See… There's an infant in there… So… Mutti kind of… Child proofed the hut… Don't ask me how, but she's rather intent on making sure Rin and Lily don't get hurt. I think this is the best I can do in there. She did say when I turn fifteen I could have a handgun, and I thought if I could maybe break the end of the ladle and sharpen it, then… Makeshift shiv."

"Dat'd be clever, if you're able ter do it. Dough, if she's so intent on keepin' yer guys safe, why wud she leave yer unarmed?" He wasn't trying to be mean or anything, he really just didn't get it.

"I didn't get it at first either, since she can be gone a while sometimes, but I think it's just because of Rin and Lily. If Lily fell out her little bed onto something, she'd be hurt pretty bad and… I guess to Mutti it'd be horrible to come home to us dead, but it'd prolly kill her more to know we only died because she left something sharp here at the hut and that's what killed us." Like them playing with the sharp thing and doing something stupid, then bleeding out and that kind of thing.

Teige reached into his pocket, "Well if dat's al'," he held a pocket knife out to Jake, "Yer can 'ang on ter dis as long as we're 'ere. Shannan's a nurse, wus gonna school ter be a doctor, so if anyone gets 'urt, she can take care av it. Dough, Oi chancer you're a smart lad an' it won't be an issue."

Jake looked at it and tilted his head. "I dunno. Letting you guys near my hut is one thing, but…" Jake looked up at him. "How do I know this isn't a trap? Like one really really elaborate trap? Cause I feel like this is supposed to be like a bad pun or something."

Teige squatted down to Jake's level, still offering the knife, "Luk, Jake, Oi'm not wan for subtlety. If Oi wus gonna 'urt any av yer, Oi wud 'av by nigh, wouldn't 'av been 'ard, but, lucky yer, it wus us dat foun' yer an' not someone or sometin' else. Oi hate de idea av a bunch av kids sittin' raun loike ducks waitin' for a 'unter ter cum along. So, as long as you're oyt 'ere, Oi'd rather yer be armed. Besides," he tapped his left cheek, pointing to the patch over his eye, "Oi nade yer ter watch me blind side."

This got the biggest smile from Jake. Mostly because it was so stupidly real. "All right. But only 'cause you have a blind side." He then accepted the pocket knife and looked rather content. He was all too aware that Teige probably didn't need him to watch anything, considering he was far older, but it made Jake feel useful. Teige probably just made a friend for life right there whether he wanted to or not.

About an hour or so of them being there, the German woman emerged from the treeline, pistol in the holster for a change, though it was so very quickly snatched out the holster at seeing Teige.

"Vat zee hell are jou doing near mein home!?" If there weren't children in said home, she would have fired a few times by now. "Vere zee hell is zee ozer von ovv jou?!"

Teige was reaching for his own pistol until he saw who it was. He instead crossed his arms and laughed. "'ey, lassy. Oi'll be 'onest, Oi didn't peg yer as de moterly type."

"I'm not a Gott verdammt 'lazzy', jou got zat!?" She growled. "Vere is zee ozer von of jou?"

Right about then, Rin burst out of the hut, all but yelping 'mutti' in her happy childish tone, before rushing over to launch a hug attack against one of her's legs.

"They're okay, mutti!"

"Nein, zey are mosht certainly not 'o-kay'. Zey are shtrangers and zey need to leave mein hut." Pointed stare at Teige. She doesn't mean to be mean, but babies.

"Luk, dey're al' gran'. We were jist waitin' for yer ter git back. Naw sense leavin' a bunch av kids by their lonesum. Especially unarmed an' witoyt so much as a lockable dure."

"And I am supposed to trusht jou, vhy?" She lowered the pistol only because he didn't have his weapon pulled. "Zese are mein charges vee are talking about." She paused a moment. "Zee hell is a 'dure' supposed to be?"

Shannan, who had been watching from the window, peeked out the front door and pointed at it, "One a these."

Teige rolled his eyes, "Me accent is not dat theck."

"It's pretty thick."

"Zat is fery klearly a 'door'. Note zee 'oar' sound in zere." She holstered her pistol then and scooped Rin onto her hip rather easily, considering that Rin was lighter than most crap she carried, and she began walking up to the hut, still kinda uneasy but dealing with it for the moment. "How did jou two vind mein hut? I zought I vas out ovv zee vay enough to afoid zis kind ivv intrusion."

"Oi don't tink anytin' is oyt av de way enoof ter be immune. Be glad someone else didn't fend it first."

"Or something."

"Zat vas zee idea." She set Rin down just outside the door, and Rin being Rin, promptly skipped inside. "I vill need to mof now zat somevon has vound zis place." She brushed past them into the hut, first priority now that things aren't tense being to check on the infant.

Shannan followed her inside. "Or, ye don't have to worry so much now. I mean, I'm a nurse an Teige is a great guard. We could watch them while yer gone."

"Dat'd be extra mouts ter feed, Shannan. 'tis 'ard enoof ter fend food."

"But less worry." She turned back to the German woman, "It's up to ye, of course, but I would like to help, and we could use the company."

"Since whaen?"

"Since forever."

"You're aff your nut."

"I think bein antisocial would make ye the crazy one."

The German woman pulled some scrap cloth from her pack and carefully tucked it around the babe as extra warmth, mulling things over while she did.

"Vood is not a problem." She moved over to a hatch and opened it, revealing a stash of food that, for just her family of four, well three really, would last about two weeks, but with two more mouths, more like a week and a half. Longer if they're smart.

"I alvays keep a heafy shtock due to zee kinder." She looked over at them. "I vill allow jou in mein home simply bekause I need somevon here viz zem. Rin got an invektion zee lasht time I levt a poket knive here," pointed look at Jake and his new poket knife, "ozervise Jake vould haf kept his. It vas not his vault, aber I did not vant to try and battle zat again ven herbs and medikation is so rare. Not to mention zee amount ovv shtress it put on him zinking it vas his vault." She moved her gaze to Shannan.

"Ivv jou zink zis place is save, zen vee vill shtay. I vould not kount on shtaying here more zan a monz longer zough, as jou are zee virsht to vind it, aber viz more people komes more danger. I vould say zat by zee end ovv zee monz, at leasht von imp vill haf vound us. Aber zee are like roaches. Von means tventy."

"I'm glad we won't be hurtin' ye for food. As far as infection, any wound from a pocket knife would be nothin' compared to havin' to keep that eejit's eye socket clean," she pointed back at Teige, getting a slight glare, "and I managed that pretty well if I do say so myself. Oh! And I can help with imps too." She reached into her bag and pulled out a rosary and a bottle of holy water. "I'm Irish down to the religion. I can bless the whole area if ye'd like. I usually do it to all our hiding places. Keeps things from gettin in at least."

"Zat vould be fery helpvul." She looked to Teige then. "I know zat jou are handy viz jour veapon zere, and I'm assuming jou vould like to shtay klose. Ivv I'm to have jou two here, vould jou mind keeping posht? Zere are usually no dishturbances here, aber viz jou two here I kould scavenge vor more. Maybe I kould efen vind von ovv zose veird little karavans." The traders, she means. The ones that are actually friendly and don't jusht attak people on sight. "Is zere anyzing zat jou two require on a daily basis zat I kould pik up on mein exkursions?"

"Oi usually don't let Shannan oyt av me sight, an' never oyt av ear shot, so stayin' 'ere wouldn't be too different from normal. An', naw. We carry weapons, clothes an' waaat medical supplies we can fend an' fend grub an' shelter on de way. Dat's al' we nade."

"Any religious items are nice."

"Roi nigh, dohs are weapons."

"Not exactly." Shannan left the hut to start blessing it and the ground around it, hoping to get it all done before nightfall.

The German woman looked a bit amused at that. "Ivv I kould use mein kross as a veapon, I vould haf done so already." Her hand auto-went to the spot under her shirt where her kross was hidden. "I vould like to mention mein Name. I am Dabrina. Jou are?"

"Teige." He held out his hand and nodded toward the door, "An' dat wee bottle av sunshine is me sister, Shannan."

She shook his hand a bit firmly for a woman. "Nice to ovvicially meet jou." She looked out to check to make sure things were clear-out of habit really-then sat down in this old as hell, no idea how it's even together, wooden chair, pulling out curtains, going to sew them by hand with some scrap threads and a bone needle. Cause babies need blankets and she's gonna do her best for that.

Teige, being somewhat antisocial, as Shannan said, and not one for talking when he doesn't have to, walked back out of the hut and resumed his post by the door.


	2. Episode Two

After some blankets were made and things unpacked from her pack, like strips she's keeping for bandages and some crappy canned food that will at least keep a while. She tucked a single roll of bandages into her pack and a bottle of water, shouldering it again while heading on out the hut. "I'll be bak in a veek or scho." Normally she wouldn't leave so fast, but now that she's got some people there to ensure the kids are okay, eh, why not.

Teige nodded to her on her way out, "Ádh mór."

Shannan joged up to her holding out a bottle of holy water, "Here, in case of demons."

Dabrina looked to the bottle and shook her head gently. "I don't need such an item. Zough," she paused to unclip the little golden cross from her neck, "if jou could add a bit to zis, bitte." She clicked the side and it opened up in locket-fashion. "Zat vould be appreciated." She's not about to take a full bottle of holy water. Shannan could get much more use than she could.

"Sure." she said happily.

After getting the locket all fixed up with the holy water, she clipped it back on. "I vill attempt to vind some items vor jou." Meaning Shannan specifically since she asked for holy items she stumbled across. "Is zere anyzing in particular jou vish to get jour hands on, or just anyzing I happen akross?" This is rather important to her since it's all that was asked and they are looking after the kids.

"Anythin is useful, no need to be picky."

"As jou vish." And off she went.

Rin skipped herself on over to Shannan. "Whatcha doooin'?~"

Shannan smiled at her, happy to have someone interested, "I'm blessin the hut and the land around it."

"How do you do that?" Those big brown eyes, though. The 'teach me' face and the puppy eyes.

Shannan's smile grew with excitement, "I just go around with holy water and mark the boundaries and any landmarks with it, while prayin for protection."

"Oh." Rin looked at the bottle of holy water then back to her. "Don't men usually do that?" Cause stories of priests but not so much of priestesses. "Ooooor are you just that good?"

"Well, usually a priest would do things like this, yes, but seein as there isn't one around, that's not really an option. Between Teige and I, I'm the more religious one so it was more likely to work if I did it, and it's worked so far."

"Oi cud do it, yer jist seem ter 'av so much craic wi' it, an' Oi do almost everytin' else." He shrugged.

"That's cool!~" Little Rin just looked so damn excited to be learning something because, well five, and what do you even teach a five year old other than manners and religion in a hell scenario? Rin paused then. "Are you ca… to-lic?"

Shannan giggled a bit, "I am a catholic, yes."

"Dat's not waaat Oi 'eard 'er ask," Teige said, laughing, a bit in spite of himself.

Shannan gave him an unamused look, "Come on, Teige, be serious."

"'ey, it wus funny." Shannan rolled her eyes and continued with her work.

Rin blinked a bit. "What'd I say?"

Jake was over there snickering with Teige. "You said 'cadillac' instead of 'catholic'."

"Ca-to-lic."

"Cath-o-lic."

"That's what I said!" The little cutie stamped her foot in frustration.

Shannan patted her head, "Never mind them, I understood ye."

Teige held up his hand in Jake's direction, "'igh foive."

Jake, of course, gave Teige that high five while Rin just pouted and crossed her arms.

"Stupid boys…"

"Ye get used to it."

"'ey, dat goes bot ways, doll."

"Does it though?"

"Ah, yeah. Do yer 'av any idea 'oy annoyin' yer can be sometimes?"

"At least I'm not mean te ye."

"Ah, stop de lights! Yer mean ter say you've never said anytin' ter me dat might be considered offensive?"

Shannan smiled at him. "Yeah."

"Yer really are oyt av your mind."

Jake smirked a tiny bit. "You two are kinda funny to watch. I don't even have half the problems you do and I'd be willing to bet most problems happen thanks to a sister."

"Not always!" Rin snipped out.

"You literally ran out the door to greet strangers, _today_."

"So!?"

"Point and check."

Teige looked right at Shannan, "'e's not wrong."

"Ye guys are mean."

"Yer called me an eejit for savin' yisser arse, consider dis pay back."

"Need I remind ye that ye also would have died if I hadn't been there?"

"Nope, Ah've got a patch for dat."

Jake just smiled. "It's like I finally have an older brother who understands being an older brother kinda sucks but is also kinda worth it." Poor child is just beaming in contentment over here.

"Maybe a little old to be a brother," Shannan said with a hand resting on her chin.

"Oi'm not auld."

"No, but ye're a lot older than him. Ye're probably old enough te be his dad." She said probably only because she doesn't know exactly how old Jake is.

"What are you, thirty?" Jake looked kinda sarcastic, not legitly thinking he'd be that 'old'.

Shannan giggled. Teige just sighed, "Almost." He was both amused and mildly annoyed. He looked down at Jake with a smirk on his face.

"Gah!" Jake looked almost horrified. "You're so… So _old_!"

Shannan now laughed outright and Teige put his face in his hand. "Oi'm really not dough."

"Ye kinda are."

His head snapped up and he pointed at her, "Yer shut yer bake!" He was admittedly trying not to laugh.

"You are! You're like… ancient! How do you even do anything?!" Jake's eyes got all big then. "Are you like a superhero or something and that's why you can still walk!?" Cause to a ten year old, thirty is eighty.

Shannan dropped to her knees, clutching her sides, trying to breathe through fits of laughter. Teige sighed again and threw his hands in the air, walking away. "Oi don't nade ter take dis. Oi'm gonna go git familiar wi' de area."

"W-Wait! You can't just go off alone!" Jake hurried after him. "You'll get hurt! What if you fall and can't get up?!" The legit worry in this poor kid's voice, though.

Shannan was laying on the ground crying. Teige spun around, grabbed Jake, and took off as fast as he could into the woods. When he stopped to catch his breath a bit he looked up at the nearest tree and pointed to it, "Yer see dat tree, Jake?" He held Jake up so that they were eye to eye. "Yer call me auld again, an' Oi'm gonna climb dat tree witcha under me arm, an' Oi'm gonna leave yer up dare. Yer understan'?"

Jake got big eyes. "You can do that?!" He paused a moment, weighing his options. "Not that I _want_ to be left in a tree… But how do I know you can even- no, Jake, stop while you're ahead." He had to talk to himself with that last bit. "How'd-" Pause. "Can you-" Pause. "...I really can't ask any questions without implying that you're old. Take it back."

Teige, looking quite frustrated, sighed and threw Jake over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. He started walking back toward the hut, but stopped at the tree line and looked around.

Jake flailed his arms a bit in a tiny panic at being a sack of potatoes, but looked around while dangling there. "Soooo… Is your eye gone, like just an eye socket there ooooor…?"

Teige, having apparently found what he was looking for, which was another tree to climb because while he didn't call him old, he heavily implied it, jumped up to a low hanging branch, climbed the tree, and set Jake down on a branch. Since he hadn't exactly said it though, Teige sat next to him. "Aye. De lid is still dare, but 'tis been sewn shut."

Jake had a momentary lapse in judgement. "Oh cool! You actually got up here!" To be fair, he's ten, and that's meant as a compliment. He legitimately thinks it's cool someone climbed up a tree while holding him.

It is pretty cool. "Oi towl yer Oi cud."

"I know you _said_ you could but you actually _did_." He was just grinning happily. "And at your-" his brain caught up. "Um… Your um… Your height!" Sweatdrops for days.

Teige glared at him, "Watch yerself, lad. It'd be lashings easier ter climb down withoyt yer."

"I can't help it!" Jake crossed his arms. "Not my fault you're thirty! I'm ten! Thirty is like… eighty!" Pause. "Not that you're not doing good for someone who's thiry. It's just… You're so… thirty." He _is_ just ten. With little to no filter. Cause child.

"First av al', Oi'm twenty nine. Second, dare is literally a fifty year difference between t'airty an' eighty. Oi'm barely auld enoof ter be your da, not easily auld enoof ter be your grandfader. Big difference."

"Ehhhhhh…" Jake looked doubtful. "If you say so…"

"Do Oi really nade ter do sometin' else ter prove meself? Oi mean, Oi 'av sometin' in mind if you're up for it."

"Depends on what it is." He really doesn't wanna be left in a tree or thrown somewhere.

Teige dropped off the branch but still hanging on. He did a couple of pull ups on the branch, then reached up a hand. "'elp me up?"

Jake looked skeptical but reached down at at least try, even though he was 100% sure he would be zero help to him.

With a mischievous smile, Teige pulled Jake off the branch and did a couple more pull ups with the one arm still hanging on to the tree.

Jake squeaked out in a mild panic, mostly clinging to his hand. "This is crazy! Cool as all get out, but crazy!"

"Do yer want back up?"

"I dunno yet." Looking down at the ground, Jake then looked up at him. "Kinda but not really."

Teige shrugged and did a couple more pull ups. As long as he's there, he might as well get a workout out of it. "Let me nu."

"This… Is probably the coolest thing ever." Jake is now just kinda basking the the awe and no longer worried about falling.

Teige pulled him back up to the branch. "Climb back up rayle queck. Oi nade ter switch arms."

Jake quickly climbed back up and waited rather patiently considering his age.

Once he had a good grip, he held out his other hand and pulled Jake back down and went back to pull ups.

Jake was just all too happy to be additional weight since this is the coolest thing for him.

Rin looked over and tilted her head at the sight. "I didn't know people could be weights."

"Huh?" Shannan looked up and froze in panic. She tore across the clearing, toward the tree as fast as she could. "Bejasus, Teige, waaat ye doin'?" sudden accent because she's panicking.

Teige laughed and lifted Jake back to the branch, "Looks loike we've been caught, lad. Better git down before she cuts down de tree."

"Awww…" He pouted but climbed back onto the branch. "Sisters…"

"Sisters." Teige agreed, pulling himself back up. He picked Jake up and climbed down the tree. "Dare, we're back on de groun', safe an' soun'. Not a scratch"

"Weren't ye goin to walk around and get a feel for thins?"

"Oi am. Oi 'ad ter take care av sometin' first."

"And somehow that involved danglin from a tree?"

"Aye," he nodded and walked past her, "Shouldn't yer git back ter de birds?"

"Ye could've fallen!"

"But Oi didn't. An' naw, Oi wouldn't 'av. Oi 'ad it, it wus gran'. Calm down." He turned his head to his left as if to look over his shoulder, "Or do yer mean Oi might 'av missed a step, or not grabbed a branch Oi wus reachin' fer?" Shannan started to say something, but apparently decided against it and walked back toward the hut. "Dat's waaat Oi tart."

Jake waited until she walked off to look at Teige. "You really use that eye thing, huh?" He didn't look bothered or anything, mostly intrigued that it got her to not argue.

"Only whaen Oi nu dat she's tryin' not ter." Teige began walking around, looking back to the hut occasionally and mentally taking note of various landmarks.

Jake walked with him to keep close. "I can draw you a map, if you want. Mutti lets us explore around the clearing when she's here."

Teige smiled, "Dat'd be 'elpful, but Oi do nade ter see it. Only 'avin' wan eye messes wi' me depth percepshun a bit, walkin' raun 'ere 'elps me git a fale for de distance between tins so Oi can shoot more accurately. 'opefully Oi won't nade ter shoot, but jist in case."

Jake shrugged. "I can tell you it's twenty paces of my feet to each side of the clearing from the hut. Dunno if that helps since you have different feet than me, but eh." Figures he'd try.

"Oi appreciate de 'elp, Jake, but it really is better if Oi see it meself. But you're welcome ter keep me company."

"Sure~" Cause what kid doesn't want to patrol with an older person during the hell-on-earth apocalypse. Seriously, who? We need to talk to that kid about survival.


	3. Episode Three

About a week later, Teige and Jake were back up a tree, though on a lower branch. Jake hung from one of Teige's arms as the Irishman did pull ups on the branch.

Dabrina emerged from the treeline near them and looked over. "Jou look like jou are enjoying jourself." None of the fucks are given at all about what is happening.

"Yer man usually likes bein' 'igher up actually, but from 'ere, Oi can do dis." He let go of Jake, letting him roll onto the ground.

Dabrina looked rather proud of Jake for sticking that barrel roll. "I see jou haf taught him to do zee barrel roll. Zank jou. I vould haf done so a vhile ago, aber I am not usually home to do such zings." She was actually smiling for a change, and proceeded to ruffle Jake's hair, getting a grin from the child as he gave Teige a double thumbs up.

Teige was so thrown off by her response he almost lost his grip and fell out of the tree. All anyone else would have noticed would have been him quickly grabbing the branch with both hands and pulling himself up.

That, of course, amused Dabrina a bit. "Vhat? I knov hov to haf manners vrom time to time." She pulled a small box of ammo, ring box size, that was about half full with ammo and held it out. "Is zis somezing jou kan use, or schould I shtash it in ze hut?" She's legitly curious since she doesn't know what weapon he has.

He jumped down and looked the ammo over. "Aye, Oi tink Oi can use dis."

"Zen it ist jours." She gently plopped it into his hand and headed to the hut to see the babe, pulling out a couple wooden crosses that she found, one broken on the sides.

"'ey, Dabrina, mind if Oi 'av dat banjacked cross? Shannan won't want it, an' Oi 'av idea for it." Even if Shannan did want it, he still has an idea that he'd like to go through with, and Shannan won't let him do it with an intact cross.

She didn't even look over her shoulder and tossed it back, pretty damn sure he could catch it since she's not that far away yet. "I don't see vhy jou kan't." She glanced back then. "Don't desekrate it near mein home, ja?"

"Oi wud never." He looked genuinely offended.

"Didn't zink so, aber ivv I don't say it, I kan't be upset later, ivv it efer happens." Even if it's not him.

He shrugged and followed her back to the hut.

Shannan was holding Lilly and talking to Rin inside. Dabrina smiled a bit at seeing Lily and gently booped her nose, getting a soft squeal from the already 'talkative' little thing.

"I haf a kross vor jou." Dabrina set it on the little wooden table. "It ist not much, aber…" She shrugged and unpacked some beat up cans that were lucky to be in tact.

"Like I said, anythin is useful. Thank you."

"Jou're velcome." She stashed some food away and pulled out two short but sturdy axes. "I vound zese as vell. I zought I vould shtay home und cut dovn some trees to make a vence ovv sorts."

Teige perked up. "Ooo."

Without any hesitation, she held one out to him, handle facing him so he could grab it easy. "I vigured jou vould light up at somezing like zis."

"We've nearly jist met an' already yer nu me so well." He said with a smirk, taking the axe and looking it over.

"I hope so. Ozervise, I vould queshtion meinself too much." She gave a small smirk. "Zey need ein bißchen scharpening, aber zey schould do zeir job just vine."

"'ope yer nu 'oy ter sharpen dem den."

"I imagine zat it ist like scharpening a knive." She only knows that one thanks to her dad.

He shrugged. "Oi suppose so." Shannan looked just as clueless.

Dabrina shrugged a bit. "I guess ve vill vind out efentually." She set the extra on table. "Mein zought ist zat, vhen zee vence ist built, vee kan haf ein vire all Nacht instead ovv just vhen ve're out here. Und zat means more schmoked meat, as it kan slov kook ofernight in zee embers ovv zee vire."

"Aye!" Teige all but jumped with excitement.

"Ye're happy."

"Oi 'avn't 'ad any good meat in nearly a year."

"It hasn't been that long."

"It feels loike it."

"I like jou more und more as I talk to jou." She's practically grinning by now because she's German, woman needs her meats, just like he does. "Zere ist a herd ovv deer zat roam around here. I'm not much vor venison, aber meat ist meat."

"'oy do yer not loike venison?"

"I'm German. Beef ist kind of mein zing." She gave a shrug. "Und ze pork."

"But... venison." He looked so confused.

"Pork. Beef." She looked over at him again. "Vonc jou haf had ze sveet, sveet taste ovv ein cordon bleu, schnitzel pounded zin, lined vis ham, cheese, zen more ham, und anozer schnitzel on top, crimped togezer und vried in ze sovtest olive oil to ein krispy perfektion… Venison is nozing."

"T'anks, lassy, nigh Oi'm 'ungery." He turned toward the door. "Oi'm gonna git oyt av 'ere before it gets worse. Cum fend me whaen dar's food."

"Technikally zere is food. Kanned. Aber if jou vant zat meat… I vill be back in ein hour oder so viz somezing." She headed on out with him, wanting a deer now since meat has been talked about. It's a need, not a want.

"Oi don't suppose ye'd let me go witcha."

"I vould not mind ze kompany."

"Ah, gran'. Oi still nade ter make up fer nearly shootin' yer. Oi figure if Oi can't buy yer dinner, as yer suggested, dis is de next best opshun."

"Jou don't haf to make up vor zat. I did schoot bak at jou." She headed off into the treeline, paused to check her ammo, then started walking again after noting that she had more than enough if trouble happened.

"True so 'tis. Maybe Oi jist want ter make up fer it." He paused a moment. "Maybe Oi jist want ter be far away from me sister for a while. Eider way, dis is a perfect opportunity."

"I didn't zink jou liked hafing her out ovv jour sight?" She looked over at him with a mildly amused look. "Eizer vay, I am more zan happy to haf company vor zis. Bucks kan be ein bit… Hard."

"Oi usually don't, but foive years av not 'avin' anyone else ter blather ter is finally catchin' up ter me. Oi nade ter kill sometin' before Oi kill 'er." Obviously, he'd never do that, but sometimes he almost feels like it.

"I undershtand zat feeling." She does. "Vell, zee last time I sav zem, zey vere zis vay." And off on a hunt they go.

After a good two or three hours, the two came back, it taking both of them to carry a rather large buck.

"We're gonna ayte gran' te-nite, lads!"

"Ja, ve are." She hefted it onto the ground outside the hut, and he dropped his end in sync. "I schtill kan't believe jou managed a bullet zrough ze skull ovv zis zing. It's ein verdammt zick skull."

"'tis kdamn powerful gun at damn close range."

"I see zat." Poor girl can't help the impressed smile cause come on big buck, food for days, impressed is a light word here. "Vell. Vould jou like to do ze honors of gutting it, oder, since jou did kill it, vould jou prefer to start ze fire vhile I gut it? Zere is ze zird option ovv resting vhile jour schwester und I do ze cooking, aber zat vould put jou on kinder duty."

"Oi'll gut it, naw nade for yer ter git your 'ands derdy." He's well aware that she wouldn't mind and that they're all pretty dirty constantly, but he's trying to be gentlemanly. "Jake, Oi'll be needin' dat knife back."

"No need. If jou're going to go zrough ze effort to be kind," since he is, "zen jou kan use mein." She just casually pulls out a knife from a pouch on her hip, the handle black with a good grip while the blade was an off shade of grayed silver and sharp as could be, holding it out while making sure the blade faced herself so he can grab the grip.

"Tanks pure much." He took the knife, looked it over a moment because it's a nice knife, and proceeded to gut the deer.

"Jour velcome." And since he was gutting the deer, she started up the fire and began collecting sticks for skewers to hang the meat over to roast. She'd turn-roast a leg or something, like how one would turn-roast a pig, but for food right now skewers would be easier.

After the buck was gutted and wrapped in cloth to keep fresh what they weren't going to eat tonight, probably to be smoked later for jerky, Dabrina cooked a good bit and when that was said and done, about an hour later, maybe two, she passed out skewers to everyone. Teige got four of them, Shannan three with a fourth being optional for her, Jake snagged two, Rin only wanted one, and Dabrina got one, mostly because she's a everyone-else-eats-first person considering the three kids. And Lily, cute little thing, gets a tiny bit of pre-chewed meat. Formula and baby food being a heavy bitch to come by as of current.

Teige, seeing that Dabrina hadn't gotten much food, set aside some of his own. When everyone was mostly done eating he held out a couple skewers to her. "'Ere."

She looked over at it. "...Ze hell ist zat." She mumbled without much thought to the words.

"'tis food. Yer didn't git much so, 'ere."

"Zank jou, aber I levt ze extra on purpose in case jou oder jour schwester vanted more. Jou don't haf to hold bak on mein account." She means that rather seriously.

"Aye, yer did, an' we ate de extra, dis is al' that's lef."

She blinked then. "...Really?" She glanced down to the 'extra' pile, and, at seeing it empty, suppressed a laugh. "Vell zen. I didn't zink it vould go zat fast." Still not really accepting the food, mind you.

"...Me arm is gettin' knackered, lassy."

Tiny glare. "I'm a voman. Not a 'lazze'. Ja?"

He blinked a few times. "Aye. That's waaat lassy means. Oi don't understan' de problem."

"Nein. Lasse implies somezing like… like Fraulein. Mädchen." She looked thoughtful a moment then found the word she was looking for. "Girl. Zere ist ein difference."

"Wud yer rather me call yer doll?"

Her face tinted a shade of pink as the look of 'the fuck' crossed her features. "Vhere ze hell do jou efen kom up viz zese zings."

"Doll is Irish slang for woman," Shannan chimed in. "He uses lassy instead because it's more general and less intimate sounding, even though, over there, it wouldn't be intimate at all."

"Vhy vould jou call jour vomen somezing so… meek?" Cause doll. Play toy for kids. "Und… Veird." Tiny shudder. "I vould say meet halfvay und use ze slang ovv ze country zat difides ours, aber to mein knowledge, zat leaves me being called 'love' und zat is… Efen veirder." She looks rather bothered at the nicknames of other countries. "Vhy kan't zings be simple. Männer vor ze men und frau vor ze vomen. Very straightforvard. Schatz(e) ist vor jour lover, liebling ist vor jour vife, zough I guess jou kould use it vor jour lover… Flaumig ist to irritate jour husband… Simple." Her arms would be crossed by now and her rant is mostly mutters that they can hear. Little German thing still just isn't used to America. Or other countries. God help any American they meet that wants to hug her as a greeting. Teige might have to hold her back from killing it.

"Girl, or in Teige's case any female, is lassy, woman is doll, girlfriend is mot, boy is fella, and man is paddy." Shannan explained.

"Whaich yer are welcome ter call me." Teige chimed in. He was now holding the skewers over the fire to keep the meat from getting cold. "Nigh if dat's oyt av de way." He held the skewers back toward Dabrina. "'ere. Oi'm not aboyt ter let yer go starval over me."

"Ngh." She glances to the food again. "I'm not goink hungry. I'm simply used to eatink less. Needs ovv zee many outveigh zee needs ovv zee fev. All zat jazz."

"Aye, an' de needs av de weemen an' children outweigh de needs av de men."

"Aber vouldn't zat mean zat ze men are ze vons keeping ze vomen und kinder safe? Vould it not zen make sense to allov zem ze most food so zat ze are not veak vhen zey haf to fight?"

"It means 'tis me job ter make sure yer are taken care av, an' dat includes yer 'avin' enoof food. Shannan 'as eaten more dan yer 'av an' she's aboyt 'alf yisser size." He's not trying to be rude, Shannan is quite small. Not short, just a bit petite.

"I realize zat vor a voman mein size," she can't be offended, it'd be silly, "I see jour point, aber I kan assure jou zat I'm razer capable viz ze amount ovv food I haf taken." She kind of patted his hand. "Jou eat jour food. I'm razer full." It's not a lie. She's so used to eating less for kids that she's legit full from her one skewer.

He looked really skeptical, but doesn't want to spend all night arguing. "At laest take wan? Oi'm not gonna be able ter sleep te-nite if part av me tinks yer didn't git enoof ter ayte."

"He really won't," Shannan chimed in, "we've stayed up all night before with him insistin that I eat the last of whatever food we have at the time, even when he's had less than me already. There were only a few times I managed to out stubborn him and he was tossin and turnin all night."

She sighed in both understanding and mild done-ness. "All right, all right. Von." She took the one and ate half of it to appease him. "Zere."

He wasn't exactly appeased but he knew he wasn't going to get anywhere else here. He left the other skewer by the fire for whoever else wanted it and walked off. He wasn't exactly frustrated, more like bothered and he didn't really have a way to deal with anything other than wandering around. He climbed a tree intending to sit up there for a while.

She managed to talk herself into eating the other half, then cleaned up things to have something to do. Jake took the other skewer.

Teige had been gone for a few hours, and Shannan was starting to get nervous but not quite worried yet. He was up a tree right at the edge of the clearing, kinda watching over the area.

Dabrina got the two little ones tucked into their corner, a mat on the floor of various soft things essentially, and looked over at Shannan. "If jou don't mind schtaying here viz zem, I'll go check on jour brüder."

"Sure. Just, don't be surprised if he doesn't want to talk… or come back for a while for that matter."

"Zat vould be underschtandable. Aber jou look a bit vorried." She gave a bit of a smile. "Zere ist an extra blanket ivv jou need it." She brought out a small throw blanket, so she can say she at least offered it, but there are two more throw blankets she managed to patchwork together, so they all get one.

"Thank you," she replied with a smile. She couldn't really think of anything else to say. She always got worried when Teige was gone for any significant time, but it was far from unlike him to do so.

"Of course." She went out, making sure to close the door behind her before hunting down the tree Teige was in. It wasn't so much it was hard as trying to see a figure in the tree in the dimming light, it being near dark at this point.

Teige called down as she approached, "Aww, ye cum al' de way oyt 'ere lookin' for me, lassy?" He paused a second and got a much less amused look on his face, not that she could see his face real well, if at all. "Or did Shannan send yer?"

"Nein, she did not send me." Not a lie. "Zough it probably put her mind at ease to knov I vas going to chek on jou. Not zat jou need it, aber it has been mein experience zat it kan get razer cold out hier." She was under the tree by then, head tilted back to see the figure of him up there. "I vanted to ovver a patchvork blanket. Ze kinder haf zeirs, jour schwester und I haf von as vell. It seemed appropriate to ovver jou von."

"Cowl doesn't 'assle me." He climbed down from the tree, half jumping. "But Oi appreciate de gesture anyway, an' 'tis bloody 'ard ter sleep witoyt a blanket av sum sort."

"I figured at zee very least, it vould make zee branch a little sovter." She gave a small smile, being genuine about this, and held out the blanket. "Unless jou'd like to join me back inside?" Well, not just her, but since she's the one out here.

With a smirk on his face he asked, "Jist yer?"

All she could think was thank God it was dark enough out for her to not deal with the heat on her face. "Zat ist not vhat I meant und jou knov it."

"'tis waaat yer said."

"Jou took mein vords literally." She lightly crossed her arms. "Jou knov gut und vell zat I meant viz ze rest ovv us und not just me." She was a little flustered, mind you, not defensive.

He chuckled and crossed his arms. "Maybe yer shud be more careful wi' de words yer choose. Wouldn't want ter lead a fella on wud yer?"

"It ist hardly leading jou on…" Unfortunately, she did see his point. "It's not like I ovvered to schleep in zee tree wiz jou oderr anyzing like zat."

"Naw, but if yer wanted ter, Oi cud take yer up dare."

"I zink I kan klimb mein ovn trees." She paused a moment. "Not zat I vouldn't akcept zat ovver." Pause again, face darkening a little. "Not zat I am enkouraging zat eizer." She really just wanted to become one with the ground. "Not zat it isn't vorz enkouraging." So close to face palming. "I zink ve schould just head bak to zee hut." She pressed a hand over her face in an attempt to hide her flustered blush, since she's speaking aloud instead of just thinking it.

He laughed, "Calm down, lassy, Oi'm jist kiddin'. Not dat Oi wouldn't 'appily sweep yer aff your feet' an' carry yer up a tree, but so'tiz gettin' quite dark. Oi wouldn't want ter fall an' git yer 'urt."

"Pft." She couldn't help that noise. "Zat vould hardly hurt. Getting shot in zee leg hurts. Falling out ein tree ist just irritating." She did get a smile though just because those two are nothing like each other. "Now, I vould like it ivv jou did not freeze on mein vatch, jou know?" She means that, mom instinct in full gear again since it does get cold out there compared to a house with heating and air.

"Don't worry aboyt me too much. Oi git enoof av it from Shannan."

"I don't vorry about jou bekause I zink jou need it. I vorry about jou bekause jou vorried about me. It is vair to let it be a tvo vay street, ja?" She'd worry anyway, mind you, because they're her companions now and she missed people just enough to worry about the ones she actually let in her hut, but she was not gonna admit that one yet just cause it would seem too … too sweet?

"Aye, Oi suppose so'tiz. Nigh, as much as Oi'm lovin' dis alone time, we shud proobably git back ter de 'ut."

"Zis vould hardly count as 'alone time,' aber as jou vish." She turned to head on back, assuming he's going to follow since hut was right there in sight.

He did follow. "We're alone ain't we?"

"Technikally, zough ve are in vull sight range ovv zee hut."

He shrugged. "Aye, Oi'll take waaat Oi can git at dis point."

"Ist zat so?" She glanced back at him before shrugging in a 'do what you want' way before opening the door to the hut. "Avter jou."

He stopped at the door and looked at her for a second. He put his hand against the door above her head. "Naw."

She auto-tilted her head up to the arm going over her head, since she tends to forget that she's short, then looked at him again. "Jou knov, it's akceptable efery vonc in a vhile."

"Naw 'tis not."

"I belief zat it ist." She was not moving yet. "Und seeing as hov I'fe opened ze door, it vould be an honor to haf jou valk zrough it."

"Ye gonna walk through de damn dure or am Oi gonna 'av ter push yer?" He thought for a moment. "Or Oi cud carry yer if ye'd loike."

"Or jou kould just go zrough ze door first. Zere ist alvays zat option." She moved so her back was propping open the door so she could cross her arms. "Just get in ze verdammt hut, vill jou?"

He wrapped an arm around her waist and hoisted her up into his arms, carrying her princess style, and walked through the door. He set her down and pulled the door shut. "Good noight." He found a spot on the floor, probably close to Shannan out of habit, and curled up under the blanket she'd given him.

She kinda froze at her feet leaving the ground and just stood there a minute, processing that she was actually picked up and carried into the hut. "...I zought jou vere bluvving." A look of both confusion and mild irritation crossed her face. "Did jou really just?" She went over to the corner the kids were in and sat by them, arms crossed in a pout. "Mer."


	4. Episode Four

About a week later, they had a sturdy wooden barricade set up that was spiked at the top. It took Teige and Dabrina working from sunup to sunset to get it done in a week, and they were rather sore each night after the intense labor, but it was worth it to have a defensive perimeter.

She went out scavenging after that. The buck had lasted them that week, and there was some jerky left, and at least two weeks of canned food, but she wanted to make sure they wouldn't lack for food anytime soon.

Dabrina was out scavenging in a farm, about half a mile down from where she met Teige and Shannan. That farm was visible to her, thankfully, so she had a landmark to go off of.

She was on the top floor of the farmhouse when she spotted a person creeping up down below.

Without thinking, more on reflex than anything, she pulled her pistol and fired a warning shot off to the left of the person from the window.

"I don't vant any trouble, but I'm going to haf to ask jou to leaf!" She yelled down.

The man--she should have noticed it was a man--looked up and held up his hands.

"'Ello, luv! I don't want any trouble either; I thought the place was empty!"

"Vell it's not! G--" She paused. "Is zat an Englisch accent?"

"Ah, yeah! I'm from across the lake!" He kept his hands up to show he wasn't gonna reach for a gun or anything. "What's a lovely German like yourself doing over here?"

"Fery vunny." She lowered her pistol. "Don't jou knov zat Germans don't laugh or joke?"

"Ah. You don't say. We've always pegged you as a serious people."

"Und ve've alvays pegged jou as a rude people."

"We're not the rude ones."

"Ja, jou are. Infading ozer countries und making zem colonies."

"If you want to talk about invading countries--"

She sighed heavily. "Vee do zat von time und nobody lets it go…"

"Well, no… It was rather rude."

"Zey totally had it koming."

The Brit paused and kind of stared for a minute. "I thought you said Germans don't make jokes or laugh."

"Voo said I vas joking?" She rather calmly raised an eyebrow.

"You… Have a point. So… My arms hurt. Can I put them down?"

"Do jou haf a veapon?"

"No, I just intentionally walk around without protection in hopes that something will kill me."

"...Yes I have a weapon."

"Toss it to zee side, bitte."

He pulled out a small pistol and tossed it to the side. She hopped on out the window (only the second story) and barrel rolled upon hitting the ground, only to stand and dust herself off, holstering her own pistol.

"Nov zen. Vhat is jour name, Brite?"

"Er. I'm an Englishman. Not… whatever that is you said. And my name is Arthur."

"Arzur. Und jou are a Brite. In mein language, it is zee same. Like zee Americans saying 'Brit'."

"What's with the 'e' at the end?"

She shrugged. "I don't question mein language."

"You should."

"If jou questioned jour language, jou vould vind jourself fery upset. Jou vouldn't knov hov jou vere expected to talk. Vhy do jou zink zee American language ist so bakvards?"

"...You really like to poke at the Americans, don't you? Is it because you're still upset about… well you know."

"Nein. Zat ist not vhy. For zat, I bash zee French. It vas zeir vault. If jou vant to keep mentioning it, zough, allov me to point out zat I nearly bombed jour capital into zee ground. Vould jou like to experience zee pain ovv zee land?"

"No. I'm good. Thanks." He rubbed the back of his head. "So… Weird as this is… Mind if I travel with you for a bit? I hear it's safer in numbers."

"I suppose. I already haf a couple people bak home, von more kannot hurt." She picked up his pistol and tossed it to him. "A vord ovv caution. If jou decide to shoot me, I suggest jou shoot to kill. Because if jou miss… Jou vill vish jou had never tried."

"No, no… I'm good…" He caught the pistol and holstered it. "I can't shoot the bloody thing anyways."

"Zen vhy do jou haf it?"

"For looks, mostly." He slid his hands down to his waist and unsheathed two daggers, holding them out for her to see. "These are my weapons."

She gave a tiny smirk then. "Jou looked a bit vide in zee hips vor a Mann."

"Not gonna shoot me for hiding them from you, luv?"

"Nein. Jou kan keep zem. As long as jou keep zem hidden und don't use zem against mein camp."

"Never. In fact, I pledge myself. I'm a rather good spy, this incident aside. Perhaps I could help scout around the camp and keep unwanted things away?"

Dabrina thought it over then nodded. "Zat is acceptable."

"After you, then."

And off they went back to camp.

Dabrina shows back up at camp a good week later, right on schedule for her normal outings, and she has a Brit with her.

"Teige! Shannan! I found anozer person!" She called out, rummaging through her bag for things to take out while she walked up to the hut.

"Why wud we want more people?" Teige mumbled, mostly to himself.

Shannan walked right up to the new person, and held out her hand. "Hello. I'm Shannan."

The Brit reached out and shook her hand with a smile. "'Ello, luv. Name's Arthur."

Teige twitched at hearing the accent and grabbed Shannan, pulling her away. "Stay away from me sister." He turned to Dabrina, "Waaat de 'ell?"

Dabrina looked rather confused. "Vhat? Arzur is harmless. Besides, he can help viz ze building of huts und zings."

Arthur kind of pulled his hand back. "Oh. You're one of those, I take it." It was directed wholey at Teige.

"Oi would've joined de IRA if dat's waaat yer mean by "one av dose", aye!" He turned back to Dabrina, "Oi don't want, nor nade any kind av 'elp from an' englishman!"

"I'm terribly sorry, but, pft. IRA. Course you'd join something fancy like that. Fie the thing your kind like to doh. Trouble all deay long." Being a Brit, is all of the salty.

Dabrina rubbed her temple. "Zis is not vhat I had in mind. I zought zat it vould be in our best interest to have more zan just us. Ve could get so much more done."

"Waaat do ye mean, "yer kind"?" Shannan asked with narrowed eyes. She may have been raised in America, but she still considers herself an Irish woman. And that's her brother he's referring to.

Arthur narrowed his eyes slightly. "I do believe I've already said what kind. Trouble. All. Deay. Long."

Teige glared daggers at Dabrina, "Waaat 'av yer been smokin' dat made bringin' dis kont 'ere seem loike a gran' idea?"

Dabrina had the straightest of faces. "I do not smoke." Zero joke on her face.

He put his face in his hand, sighed, and walked away. "Scon are in me weck dealin' wi' dis shoite."

"Du musst nicht so frustriert sein, dass wir dich nicht verstehen können." Dabrina crossed her arms.

"Níl a fhios agam cad a dúirt tú, ach fuck tú araon."

Course, she has zero idea what he said, minus that 'fuck' part and the one that sounded like 'you'. So, without hesitation, she bit out a rather rough, "Fuck dich auch, Arschloch."

Shannan watched Teige go, then walked up to Arthur and got into his face. "Ba mhaith liom a leithéid de rudaí a rá leat, mar chaitliceach maith, ní féidir liom a rá! Mar sin, tá mé ag dul go screamach eagla i dteanga nach dtuigeann tú agus go dtógfaidh tú an pointe!" She turned around flipping her hair over her shoulder and walked back into the hut, head held high, and slammed the door behind her.

Poor little Arthur just stood there with the look of 'what' on his face while Dabrina rubbed her temples in such frustration.

"Zis is not vorz it…"

Jake came on out of the hut and bee-lined it to Teige. "Oi!" He called out, mostly to get his attention to ask his question.

Teige was at the base of a tree by now and turned and reached a hand out to Jake, "Wanna cum up wi' me?" He tired to soften his expression, but he was still clearly angry.

"Yeah!" He grabbed hold of his hand a bit firmly cause he's expecting to be flung up into a tree in a second. "Why are ya angry?"

Teige did fling him up into the tree. He helped Jake up to near the top, where they were the first time he'd brought him up here, and sat them both down on a branch. "'tis a bit av a long, complicated scayle."

"I wanna know anyway."

Teige sighed, "De guy dat yisser mutti broot back is from englan'. A long time ago, englan' tuk over Oirlan', wha Shannan an' Oi are from, our people spent eight ton years fightin' dem tryin' ter make dem leave. Most av dem did, eventually, but not al' av dem. Norn Iron is still under Sasanach control. Well, maybe not anymore. Oi'm not really sure 'oy countries work nigh."

"Well that's rude as 'ell." Jake crossed his arms. "They have their own country, right? They can go back where they came from." To be fair, that's what Jake thought about Teige and Shannan at first since new people, but he's rather serious about this one. "That's like someone taking mah hut from me." That's what he would equate it to, since he's 10 and yeah that's the best he has.

"Aye, sometin' loike dat." He was quite for a bit, then started humming.

Jake tilted his head. "Waatcha hummin'?"

"Amhrán na bhFiann, de Oirish national anthem." He continued, occasionally singing a word or two quitely.

"Ohhh." Jake paused. "Can you teach me?"

Teige, who had been staring down at the ground, snapped his head up and looked at Jake, admittedly surprised. As the question sank in, a smile grew on his face. "Oi'd be 'appy ter."

Jake clapped his hands rather happily with a legit grin on his face. "Sweet!~"

Some time later, Teige came back, Jake riding on his shoulders and both of them singing, "Faoi mhóid bheith saor Seantír ár sinsear feasta, Ní fhágfar faoin tíorán ná faoin tráill. Anocht a théam sa bhearna baoil,..."

Dabrina looked over and all that went through her mind was /aaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww/ because what else do you say or think to that cuteness?

Well. There is Arthur. Who's thinking /dammit now he has the kid doing it/ but even he can't deny the cuteness of the bonding.

Shannan poked her head out of the hut and joined them in the last of the song. When they finished, she looked at Teige, surprised, happy, and kind of confused at the same time. "Ye taught him Amhrán na bhFiann?"

"He asked me ter." Teige said proudly. He glanced at Arthur with a triumphant smirk.

"Aaawww!" Shannan hugged them and looked up at Jake. "We'll make an Irishman out a ye yet."

"Aye! You're damn roi we 'ill." Teige pulled Jake off of his shoulders and tossed him in the air, catching him again, of course. "Oi'll teach yer "Go 'um British Soldiers" next!"

"Woo!~" Jake practically yelled out in the most excited tone a 10 year old could have, both at being thrown/caught and learning a new song. "I can't wait!~"

Shannan, figuring, /Why wait?, started singing, "Go on home, british soldiers, go on home." And Teige, of course joined, "'have you got no bloody homes of your own? For eight hundred years, we've fought yer without fear, an' we'll fight yer for eight hundred more!" They ended the chorus laughing.

Arthur got mildly bothered by that since he was fully aware that it was meant as some kind of revenge, and on automatic, started singing, "Nor on this land alone, but be God's mercies known, from shore to shore. Lord, make the nation see, that men should brothers be, and form one family, the wide world o'er."

That, of course, being "God save the Queen". Probably one of the more politely insulting things a Brite could sing near an Irish-anything.

Still, not gonna sit right with Teige. "Ah, yer don't loik dat do yer? 'oy aboyt dis wan? The virgin Queen, Elizabeth, brought more turmoil to our land. She decimated Munster, scorched the earth and all at hand. Then James the first and Charles the Mad brought out other greedy bands. They took the land of Ulster, killed their Chieftains- poisoned, plundered!" Shannan joined him for the chorus. "Murder, plunder, faugh a ballagh, clear the way. Cheating, stealing, diddly-idel-day. Ducking, diving, faugh a ballagh, clear the way. Diddly-aidel-doh, diddly-aidel-day."

Without so much as a pause, Arthur retorted with, "Land of Hope and Glory. Mother of the Free. How shall we extol thee, who are born of thee? Wider still, and wider, shall thy bounds be set; God, who made thee mighty, make thee mightier yet! Truth and Right and Freedom, each a holy gem. Stars of solemn brightness, weave thy diadem. Tho' thy way be darkened, still in splendour drest, as the star that trembles o'er the liquid West. Throned amid the billows, throned inviolate. Thou hast reigned victorious, thou has smiled at fate. Land of Hope and Glory, fortress of the Free. How may we extol thee, praise thee, honour thee? Hark, a mighty nation maketh glad reply; Lo, our lips are thankful, lo, our hearts are high! Hearts in hope uplifted, loyal lips that sing; Strong in faith and freedom, we have crowned our King!"

Teige raised an eyebrow, "Really, dat's al' ye've got?"

"I'm terribly sorry, but despite your belief, you and your potatoes were not worth my people's time and effort to create songs fie for you." Pause, straightest face. "Well. I guess you prolly don't have those potatoes anymore aftah that famine and all. But I'm sure you understoohd what I meant. Unless the lack of potatoes has gotten to you?" One raised eyebrow here.

Now Shannan looked confused, and mildly disgusted. "Really? Ye're gonna go there? That's like lookin at Dabrina and sayin "Hey, you remember the holocaust? That was a shit thing to do." I mean, it's just rude."

"Besides, if we were such a waste av time, why wud yer boder foightin' us fer so long instead av jist lettin' us go? Oi mean, as de song goes, eight 'undred years. Yer gave up on america in aboyt ten."

Dabrina looked over at Shannan. "Zat vas rude. But if jou vant to go zere, jou should probably look over at France. Had ve not been paying _ to zem for ze first Vorld Var, ve vould not have had such an insane man lead us into ze second Var. Ve vere in a depression. Depression sucks."

Arthur just shrugged at Teige. "Americah is ah goldfish colony. You guys are roysh there. Besides, three fourths of Americah didn't fancy to leave. There were fie one fourth tooh many to squash. Soh it makes sense that we'd devote ah shite ton of effort to squashing your little rebelliohn as soohn as it started. Most of your war songs don't even hold purpose. Obviously we have our own homes. That's not the point. The point is that the sun ne'ah sets ohn the British Empire. And before you try to seay 'it does noh,' it does not. Australiah and New Zealand still fly our flag, and Canadah still considers itself part of us. Technically that is enough span that the sun ne'ah sets. And anuhthah thing. You're part of the British Isles. Half of you accepted that it was part of us. Is it hairlairh for the uthah half?" Yes he brought North Ireland into it because we're talking about war with Ireland and it's hard to just ignore the half of Ireland that accepted things. Sure, he's being a prick about it, but he's a Brit.

"Sorry, Dabrina, I meant no offence to ye. I was just tryin to make a point."

"So, yer jist wanted ter 'oor yerself oyt ter de whole warrld? Well, Oi'll tell yer sometin' fer natin', Oirlan' doesn't fend yer satisfyin', so yer can git de 'ell oyt av our country an' yer can take de quarter av de islan' dat still wants yer raun witcha."

"Well I say-- We most certainly doh not whore ourselves out to the whole world!" The stupidly indignant look on his face though.

Dabrina looked over and rubbed the back of her neck. "Arzur… Schatz… Not to seem like I'm taking sides--," she looks to the other two, "vhich I'm not," she looks back to Arthur, "--but jour country… It does vhore itself out. I mean… Mein Vaterland… Mein home… Our Imperial Anzem vas based off of 'Gott save ze Queen'. Und America's anzem is as vell… Und so are several ozers in Europe… Und jou… Kind of did nozing to stop zat… If anyzing… Jou let it happen…"

"I don't knoh what you're ohn about." He crossed his arms. He literally wouldn't make that connection. Most people wouldn't if they weren't listening to said songs right that second.

She just patted his shoulder. "Jou lost zis von. Jour country is a bit of a vhore." She paused. "Or a rape victim. I vould vote vhore meinself, but, if jou really vant to be veak enough to get invaded several times, zen…"

"Ye heard the German, we won!" Shannan cheered.

Teige punched the air, "Woo!" then started singing, Shannan soon joining in, "You'll never beat the Irish, no matter what you do. You can put us down and keep us out, but we'll come back again. You know we are the fighting Irish and we'll fight until the end. You know, you should have known, you'll never beat the Irish." They walked into the hut before Arthur could say anything else.

Dabrina facepalmed rather hard. "I didn't mean zat as bragging rights…" She muttered, more to herself than anything. Arthur, poor thing, just went off on his way, probably to the edge of the clearing to kick a rock.

By the evening, when everyone would be found by the fire, munching on either jerky or some kind of canned food that had been heated over the fire, Dabrina looked up from a journal she had been scribbling in for the past hour.

"I have a small suggestion. Zere is no vay in hell zat ve are all going to sleep under von roof--not zat I can even deal viz all of jou under von roof--so first zing tomorrow, ve vill begin chopping down trees to build cabins. It vill be similar in style to ze lincoln logs, mostly because zose vere based off of an actual building style, und it vill be ze easiest vay to build anyzing vizout power tools. Keep in mind zat zese vill not be perfect… But it vill be better zan everyvon trying to kill each ozer. Nov, as for ze placement of ze logs. Not every tree is perfectly straight. Ve vill need to be picky und choose zose zat are ze closest to straight, to prevent gaps in ze vood. If zere are gaps as ve build, ve vill more zan likely fill it viz a piece of vood carved or cut to fit ze size of ze hole. Unless it is a small hole. If any of jou vant to take ze time to fill ze small holes, jou are more zan velcome to do so, but I vould ask zat it vait until all of ze cabins are built. As for ze current hut ve vill be dealing viz each ozer in, zat vill be ze food shelter after ze homes are established. From zere, ve can focus on building zings like a church, a small shed for stockpiling firevood, perhaps even a few extra cabins in case ve meet nev people und vant zem to join. Is zis plan to everyvon's liking?" She looked a bit expectant, since she was rather hoping to hear any suggestions or feedback, good or bad.

"Aye, an' Oi'm so glad yer mentioned it. Shannan aboyt tore me a new wan whaen Oi said sometin' aboyt makin' our wan place. Said Oi wus bein' an arsehole."

Shannan glared at him, "I said jerk."

"Yer totally said arsehole."

Dabrina raised an eyebrow. "Jou zink zat I'm going to believe zat Shannan, of all people sitting here, called jou an Arschloch?"

"Well, why wud Oi fib aboyt it?"

"Vhile zis is true, it is very hard for me to believe zat she vould say somezing like zat." Just because even from how little Shannan and she have talked , she noticed the distinct lack of cursing.

"It's not that hard for me to believe. She did yell at me in Irish. For all I know, she was cussing me out."

Teige smirked and raised an eyebrow at Shanna, "Waaat ye say?"

She sat up straight, tilting her head slightly, "I said, ba mhaith liom a leithéid de rudaí a rá leat, mar chaitliceach maith, ní féidir liom a rá. Mar sin, tá mé ag dul go screamach eagla i dteanga nach dtuigeann tú agus go dtógfaidh tú an pointe."

"You most certainly did not say anything. Yelled--screamed--would be more appropriate."

"I zink zis is getting a bit off track." Dabrina murmured. "But for ze sake of ze record, vhat does zat mean, exactly? Ze vords jou just spoke zere."

Teige had nearly fallen over laughing. "Ah, so you'll swear at me, but not de brit? T'anks sis. Love yer." He turned back to the others, "Basically, she said 'Oi want ter swear at yer, but Oi can't so Oi'll jist make yer tink Oi did'. Apparently dohs rules don't apply ter me."

"Swearin is half yer vocabulary, I wanted to make sure I was understood."

He glared at her, "Why ye only a wagon ter me? Waaat did Oi do?"

Dabrina raised an eyebrow. "...Vagon? Hov is she a cart?"

Teige put his head in his hands and groaned.

"Who knew there'd be a language barrier in group of people that all speak english."

"I am confused. Zis makes no sense." Dabrina crossed her arms. "I vant jou to explain. Vhat makes her a cart?"

"A bitch, Dabrina. Oi called 'er a bitch. Jist... more politely."

"Zat is hardly polite at all. I vould feel more insulted zat I vas demoted to a cart zan being called a schlampe."

Teige rubbed his forehead. "Oi wanna go 'um. Oi wanna go back ter Oirlan' wha Oi wasn't questioned aboyt every oder ward dat came oyt av me mout."

"I would happily help you arrange that one." Arthur piped up. "It'd be a stone's throw from my home." And would get Teige out his hair, mostly the latter being the reason he bothered to 'offer'.

"Jou knov, jou're starting to look like a backpfeifengesicht."

Teige gave her the most confused look possible. "Oi luk loike a waaat?"

"Not jou. Arzur. Eizer vay, it … It doesn't translate very vell. In englisch, it roughly means 'a face zat is begging to be punched'."

"Ah, he alwus looked loike dat."

"Nov jou're starting to look like a backpfeifengesicht." She rubbed her temple. "Jou knov vhat? Ve're going to have a democracy here. Ve vote on nev memebers of ze camp. I am not dealing viz zis for ze rest of mein time dealing viz hell out zere." And by that she meant the rivalry. She started it, ergo, she ended it. Not gonna kick him out, but not gonna bring in more without votes either.

"Wish ye'd decided dat before yer broot dis gobdaw 'ere."

"Ja, ja, lecture me later vill jou." She paused for a split second then shook her head. "Nein, jou knov vhat? Don't lecture me later. I doubt I'd pay much attention." Not meant as an insult, she's just a tiny bit blunt.

"Oi wouldn't expect yer ter." Because he gets lectured all the time and rarely listens.

"Good, good. So zen, ve're all in agreement about ze cabins?"

"It's fine with me."

"'Ell yes."

"Vould jou each like jour own cabin or…?" Because she knew she'd want her own, with the kids , and Arthur would definitely get his own, but she didn't know if Teige and Shannan wanted one together or not.

"We've been under de seem roof dis long."

"It'd save space and materials too."

And it wouldn't sit right with Teige for her to be alone, but that kinda sounds weird out loud.

"I zought so, but didn't vant to assume." She stood up and stretched because it's probably taken them an hour at least to talk about everything. "Vell, let's head to bed. Please try not to murder each ozer tonight." Since they'll all be under one roof until another cabin is done.

"Oi'll sleep oyt 'ere, t'anks."

"Really?"

"Aye! Oi'm not sharin' a room wi' 'im."

"Vhy can't jou just sleep viz Rin und Jake? Zey're in von corner, zen he can be in ze ozer corner on ze ozer side of ze hut." She auto-assumes Shannan will be with Teige, and she's not planning on sleeping in the hut because to hell with that insanity.

"Fine with me. I'm not sleepin out here."

Teige thought for a bit. This was a really hard decision. Of course, he barley wanted to share a camp with the brit, let alone a room. But he couldn't leave Shannan alone with him even remotely. Not that Arthur would necessarily do anything, but Teige doesn't exactly trust that… at all. "Fine," he said, quite begrudgingly.

"Zere. All fixed."

"Yer can't fix eight ton years av war in a noight, lassy."

Jake hopped on up, because the kids have been sitting here just staring at the adults like they're all insane as hell. "Woo!~ I get ta bunk with Teige!~"

Shannan smiled. That was just too dang cute. She wasn't sure, but Jake seemed to see Teige as his dad, and it was adorable. No telling how Teige would feel about it, but she at least thought it was cute.

"Aye, Oi suppose yer do." Teige didn't quite get the lad's excitement but, eh, whatever.

Dabrina had to run both hands through her hair to keep from Gibbs smacking Teige at his smart-ass comment, not wanting to ruin the cuteness of Jake getting excited.

"Get jour arse in ze hut, bitte."

Jake hurried on in, mostly because Dabrina said so. Maybe not to him, but still. Rin, being Rin, lightly tugged on Shannan's sleeve to get her attention.

"You're coming to, yeah?" Cause Rin rather likes Shannan. More girls and all.

"Of course."

Rin smiled and, while probably 'pulling' Shannan with her, went into the hut for bed.


End file.
